“I don’t get it. When you interviewed me last month, you said you needed an experienced coder ASAP. Now, right when I’m about to begin orientation, you tell me you’re at go-live! After I’ve turned down an offer from OTTII and moved halfway across the country!”
Well now, Linda. Or Lin, can I can you Lin? I know you were hoping to be part of the launch team, but we’ve had a bit of a breakthrough since last we spoke. I’m sure there’s another role for you here.
“First off, NO – you can’t call me ‘Lin’. Second, if there’s no Development Director role, this is a blatant breach of our employment contact! I’m not going to be some beta tester on your live platform. I knew I shouldn’t have joined up with a bunch of brogrammers”
Let not get ahead of ourselves Lin – I mean Linda. You should really check out -heh- Orientation before walking away from this exciting position. We’ve done some wonder work in what we’re dubbing True Augmented Reality.
“Huh… what just happened… Wait WHAT AM I WEARING?! ”
It’s your new Beta Testing uniform. Once you’re done with Orientation, you’ll be free to leave for the day. Let’s not forget, you’ll be the one in breach of contract for absenteeism if you walk now.
“This is bullshit. But you know what, just keep digging your grave here you sick freak.”
I promise you, this is all in your initial contract. Since the product is going to market early, I thought the boys on the team here could get some use out of their hard work.
We had a vote, and to be honest, between the impression you made when you interviewed and Mark’s ‘Orient-ation’ pun submission, this ‘Horny Asian Schoolgirl’ stereotype easily won.
Now let’s see if the personality update is working yet.
“The personality update? Huh? I’m sorry it’s so difficult to think with all these pink clouds. Were they always there? You see those too, right?”
Ha! Looks like the update is working just fine. Why don’t we introduce you to the team? Give a nice smile!
“Ughh… guess it Lin’s job right? Tehehe… Hai everyone!”
Now let’s get you properly acquainted Ling. You don’t mind if I call you Ling right?
“Mister boss-san call Ling-Ling whatever he like!” *giggle*
Oh boy, Mark really went overboard with the stereotype part. Well, that’s what beta testers are for, right Ling-Ling? Why don’t you let the boys see how happy you are to be working with them.