Movie Night – Excerpt

800milesisadrive:

A sample of Chapter One from my current work in progress.
Concept and characters were generously provided by VoidGolem.
Special thanks to @talesforsluts for some great edits and suggestions.


Naomi was chewing her hair absentmindedly, which stuck me as out of character. But then, I’d never seen her this nervous before.

“Hey…” I said leaning in and putting an arm around her. “Maybe it’s just porn?”

She blinked, then cracked a pained smirk. “Oh god…” She was half laughing, half crying. “You’re the worst.” She leaned in and buried her head in my chest. I kissed the top of her head and pulled her close. This whole thing was surreal for me, I couldn’t imagine what was going through Naomi’s mind.

She looked up at me and started to say something when the TV blared out.

The Perfect Wife Program!” a loud, movie-trailer styled voice read off the cheesy-80’s title that faded on screen. Generic background muzak faded in; the slight warble in the old tape’s tracking gave it an eerie sound.

The picture faded into a generic, windowless office, where a grey-suited man was sitting at a comically large oak desk.

Welcome! We here at Perfect Wife Inc. are happy you’ve chosen to subscribe to our full Platinum Service. We’re confident this new program will bring our trusted brand into the future, with all the technology the 1980s will have to offer!

Now the nameless suit was walking through a busy office, grinning and continuing his pitch.

Our clients are realists, practical men who know times are changing. Women now have a more prominent role at work and at home.Why just take Susan here,” he gestured to a woman typing at a table behind him. She looked like a porn-star than a secretary, with huge tits, heavy makeup and blown-out platinum hair. “Sharp as a tack and cute as a button!

I can do anything a man can do!” The blonde mugged to the camera, delivering her lines in a stilted, high pitched voice. “Why would I stay at home?

That’s right Suzzie!” The man patted her head lightly.

“Christ, where did they dig up that bimbo?” Naomi muttered. I didn’t say it, but I was starting to suspect we’d already seen how Perfect Wife Inc. recruited.

But just because the world is changing, that doesn’t mean you can’t still have what every man wants.” The screen did a hacky, harp-scored dissolve to a generic 1950’s kitchen. The narrator and Suzzie appeared with a cartoon ‘pop.’

With the new Perfect Wife program, you have all the tools you need to build the family of your dreams!” The narrator snapped his fingers and Suzzie was suddenly a retro, pin-up housewife; a technicolor model that would have looked right at home in any Nick-at-Nite rerun.

But mister,” Suzzie cooed. “Won’t I get bored with this big brain?

“Oh fuck…” Naomi sat upright, just putting together what I’d already feared.

No worries missy. We’ll take care of that!” The narrator winked at the camera. “Now we’ve been keeping you at home waiting long enough. Be sure you’ve read all the included instructions. And, as always, our customer service team can assist you if any glitches arise!

The narrator and Suzzie faded out, replaced with bold text on a black background:

PROGRAM START

“What did we just watch?” Naomi asked, “And what’s that awful tone?”

“What tone?” 

I looked over at her, expecting her to be in tears after all that, maybe even furious. 

Instead, she was staring blankly ahead at the screen, mouth slightly ajar. 

“Hey, Earth to Naomi. You doing ok?”

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