Updated Standards

Drinking and tinkering with experimental tech don’t mix, even if your grades are on the line.

The girls were certain they were failing Bio 101.

“It’s that damn, creepy TA.” Emily scoffed, brushing her red hair out of her face.

“Sexisit, racist pig.” Wendy muttered, not looking up from her phone.

“I know!?” Jess was clearly the most drunk, having already downed several of the horrendous Kool-Aid and vodka monstrosities the three of them had been sharing for the last hour.

They all sat together in their shared dorm, commiserating their futile academic struggle. An outside observer would have suggested that their time would have been better spent studying, but it’s human nature to avoid introspection when an easy target of scorn was available.

Jess finished off the pink-purple abomination from her solo cup. She was blonde, but wasn’t stupid (all of them were reasonably intelligent) though she’d wasted this first semester at college partying hard.

“Hey Wendy, at least you have a shot at-” Jess stopped to shake her friend’s shoulder for attention. Wendy always was on her phone, rarely looking up and giving her focus to the world around her.

“Wendy. Wendy. Earth to Wendy!” Jess playfully grabbed her friend’s phone out of her hands. “I was saying, at least you have a shot at winning over the creep. You’re half-Asian, that’s gotta be worth a C+, right?”

Wendy gave a faintly amused snort of laughter and snapped back her phone.

Emily leaned forward to her friends, a mischievous glint in her eye and an evil grin on her face.

“Oh, man. I just got a fucking amazing idea…”

….

“This is a fucking awful idea.” Jess muttered, glancing around the darkened lab. She was starting to sober up, and this whole plan was making less and less sense.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby.” Emily flicked her phone’s flashlight on, leading her friends through the cluttered space. They were in the basement lab at the physics building to sabotage their TA’s prized, secret project.

“We don’t even know what we’re looking for.” Wendy’s face was illuminated by her screen. Even now, she was only half paying attention to this hairbrained scheme.

Emily moved to the obvious workspace: something large and ominous in the middle of the room, covered with a cloth tarp. She pulled it back to reveal…

“What the hell is it?” Jess said, cocking her head to the side and squinting. “Some oversized copy machine?”

Emily flipped over the clipboard resting on the top of the bulky, box-like contraption.

“Transmogrifier version zero-zero-two.”she read from the top line. “Preconfigured test A – Z – N.”

“Whatever the hell that means,” Jess shook her head. “Even his notes sound prevy.”

Emily fumbled with the switches, looking for something to snap off or unplug. Anything that would ruin this prick’s hard work.

The machine kicked to life, whirring up to a deafening whine in seconds.

Wendy actually stopped staring at her phone just in time to see the streak of white light emerge from the top of the machine and envelope Emily.

It happened so quickly, Jess and Wendy didn’t even have time to react. The light was gone, and their red-headed friend was on the floor, seemingly electrocuted.

“Emily!” Jess raced over to her friend’s side in panic, afraid she was dead from the shock.

“Ugggh.” the girl on the ground moaned and pushed herself up, rubbing her temples. “Like, that was trippy.”

Jess was so relieved her friend was alive she didn’t register the change in Emily’s voice. Wendy however noticed something even more radical happening from her vantage.

“Jess… Emily’s hair… it’s…”

Emily rached back and pulled a lock of her hair. It seemed longer, silkier, but more shockingly it was darkening from the roots down. Her first thought, unable to process what she was seeing, was that ink was being poured down her head.

Jess and Wendy looked on, mouths agape, as the friend’s face shifted in the dim light. Her eyes became more narrow, her lightly freckled complexion seemed to grow more pale.

“Mmmph.” Emily doubled over. “My shirt is, like, shrinking?”

Jess could easily see why her friend thought that. Emily’s breasts were swelling up at an impossible rate, growing from their normal A cup size.

Whatever was happening, Emily didn’t seem to mind too much. She cupped her new assets and giggles.

“Guys, this feels so awesome!”

Emily looked up at her friends, her head still spinning.

Wendy was looking at her phone, her finger hovering over the emergency call button. Jess was staring at her like a deer in headlights.

“Guys, I’m like totes one-hundred!” she giggled. These girls were always waaay too worried about stuff. She wondered how she ever tolerated these uptight lame-o’s.

“Emily, your hair. It’s- it’s-” Jess stammered.

“O-M-G! Is my hair frizzled?” Emily grabbed a lock in panic. She’d just die if her look was ruined!

“No, it’s just different. And your face…” Jess didn’t know where to begin, and Emily’s new attitude was throwing her off.

“Oh, thank god!” Emily was relived to see her silky, long black hair was still perfect looking. “I thought I was gonna be totally uggo for the frat party this weekend!”

Wendy and Jess just watched, speechless, as their ‘new’ friend picked herself up off the floor. She seemed slightly shorter, but that was the least concerning change.

In a matter of moments, Emily had gone from flat chested red-head to a curvy, Asian babe.

“Ugh, are you two always so LAME?” Emily was remembering more now, how these two wet blankets had dragged her here to mess with the cutie TA’s science gizmo.

With the same glint of mischievousness crossing her new face, Emily smiled at her ‘friends’.

“Oh! I totally just got a fucking amazing idea…”

If these two lame bitches were going to mess with the hottie genius TA, it was only fair she mess with them. Maybe he’d even let her suck his cock once she told him what she did!

Jess cautiously tried to move closer to her friend, to reason with her, but Emily seemed to have a newly found determination.

The airhead sorority girl was going to have some fun.

“I know what that hunk would like.” Emily declared punching buttons on the huge machine. “And it’s def not a lame, stuck up white bitch like you Jess.”