Now, as happy as everyone here is with ‘Linda’ and the first round of -ahem- internal testing. I think we need to expand our closed beta to get a better idea of how True Augmented Reality will be received out in the wild.
I mean, come on Mark, Linda is American-Thai and she’s appending ’-san’ every chance she gets. And I don’t think even hentai girls say ‘arigato’ as much as that girl does after a facial.
Ok, I admit it’s been a boost to morale. We just need something more believable for the Round B investors. Something well documented, something that shows off all the hard work we’ve done.
Without further ado, I’d like to official confirm our first brand ambassador and public tester:
Enough with the groans, guys. She has a reach of 2 million followers across platforms and has already agreed to waive all personal rights for the time of testing. Plus, after her feud with her last big sponsor, we’re getting her for a steal.
Yes, there are some of you who aren’t a fan of her whole ‘War Against Objectification’ series. But that’s what makes her a perfect subject! Her sponsors will get to see a nice, improved revenue stream and we’ll have every marketing department in the country at our door, just in time for the wide rollout.
So, we’ll just take Ling-Ling’s profile and stretch it out a bit. See how a three month implementation takes, gather any bugs and enjoy the show.
Linda has to adjust to some unexpected changes at her new job.
“I don’t get it. When you interviewed me last month, you said you needed an experienced coder ASAP. Now, right when I’m about to begin orientation, you tell me you’re at go-live! After I’ve turned down an offer from OTTII and moved halfway across the country!”
Well now, Linda. Or Lin, can I can you Lin? I know you were hoping to be part of the launch team, but we’ve had a bit of a breakthrough since last we spoke. I’m sure there’s another role for you here.
“First off, NO – you can’t call me ‘Lin’. Second, if there’s no Development Director role, this is a blatant breach of our employment contact! I’m not going to be some beta tester on your live platform. I knew I shouldn’t have joined up with a bunch of brogrammers”
Let not get ahead of ourselves Lin – I mean Linda. You should really check out -heh- Orientation before walking away from this exciting position. We’ve done some wonder work in what we’re dubbing True Augmented Reality.
“Huh… what just happened… Wait WHAT AM I WEARING?! ”
It’s your new Beta Testing uniform. Once you’re done with Orientation, you’ll be free to leave for the day. Let’s not forget, you’ll be the one in breach of contract for absenteeism if you walk now.
“This is bullshit. But you know what, just keep digging your grave here you sick freak.”
I promise you, this is all in your initial contract. Since the product is going to market early, I thought the boys on the team here could get some use out of their hard work.
We had a vote, and to be honest, between the impression you made when you interviewed and Mark’s ‘Orient-ation’ pun submission, this ‘Horny Asian Schoolgirl’ stereotype easily won.
Now let’s see if the personality update is working yet.
“The personality update? Huh? I’m sorry it’s so difficult to think with all these pink clouds. Were they always there? You see those too, right?”
Ha! Looks like the update is working just fine. Why don’t we introduce you to the team? Give a nice smile!
“Ughh… guess it Lin’s job right? Tehehe… Hai everyone!”
Now let’s get you properly acquainted Ling. You don’t mind if I call you Ling right?
“Mister boss-san call Ling-Ling whatever he like!” *giggle*
Oh boy, Mark really went overboard with the stereotype part. Well, that’s what beta testers are for, right Ling-Ling? Why don’t you let the boys see how happy you are to be working with them.
Small part of a longer outline I had. Not sure if it’s worth it to expand out, as I kind of like the ambiguity of this section. Let me know if you think I should continue.
“You know, you can still stop this at any time, right?” My wife said with a knowing smirk. At least I think she was my wife, it was getting difficult to focus. Even without the distraction of her impossibly fit body grinding against me. I could barely count on to what was ‘real’.
“You could change everything back and make us all forget this even happened.” She was teasing, not even trying to sell authenticity in the slight whimper that escaped her lips between each sentence.
My ‘wife’ was just teasing out the moment, knowing that in spite of my half-hearted pleas, I wasn’t going to save her. I wasn’t going to save myself.