Concept and characters generously provided by VoidGolem. Special thanks to @talesforsluts edits and suggestions.
Pretty Fate Machine – June 1999
Alone we were alone in her bedroom, and I was trying very hard not to read into that.
Naomi was hot. Her black hair was shoulder length, with a subtle blue streak she’d dyed in for graduation. Though she didn’t show it off, it was impossible not to see she’d inherited her mother’s curves and flawless features.
Naomi was intelligent. She’d been accepted into an Ivy when we’d started dating, and her name was always on the short list for valedictorian.
Naomi was cool. She listened to cool bands, like The Pixies. She looked bad-ass, with unquestionably more fashion sense than the average Ohio suburban teenager. Not quite ‘grunge’, not quite ‘emo’… she could just could rock a leather jacket and eyeliner.
But more than anything right now, Naomi was upset.
“My mother’s awful! She never takes anything I do seriously.”
Naomi paced the room, eyes still a bit red. She’d stopped crying by the time I’d arrived, but a couple sniffles and the slight streak of makeup gave it away immediately.
“Well, that’s not true. She liked when I joined track, though she was pissed it wasn’t cheerleading.” There was a slight sneer in her voice.
It was difficult to picture Naomi with pom-poms, cheering at a pep rally. To be clear, she was in great shape and definitely had the body. With her ripped jeans and Not that I’d ever tell her, but her figure
“Did I ever tell you what my mother did the day of the SAT? She scheduled us a spa day! I had been talking about it all week, but first thing Saturday morning…”
She put a hand on her (not insignificant) hips, flipped her hair and puckered her lips. “Naomi, you no need to take this Es-Ay-Te.”
I winced a bit. Even if it was dead accurate, it still made me uncomfortable when Naomi imitated her mother’s heavy accent.
The first time I saw Naomi’s mother, it was actually at a cross country meet. Some random, impossibly fit woman, cheering and bouncing up and down in a tight blue dress. Who wears a dress like that to Bedford High School on weekend? Mrs. Junko Walcott, that’s who.
It wasn’t difficult to figure out who she was rooting for. Naomi was one of maybe six non-white students in our class. Even if the Asian MILF in the stands hadn’t been screaming her name, there was no way for Naomi to hide from the ridiculous woman.
I didn’t really know Naomi back then, and it was another year before the awkward blind-date at prom. When we made out on the couch and somehow, impossibly, started dating. I had no doubt it wasn’t going to last past the summer, just a post senior-year fling before we went to our respective schools in the fall.
“And now, even after I somehow made it into Brown, I’m going to lose my registration because she’s too busy to help me file the paperwork! She’s dropping Kat off at summer camp, then she’s at the gym…”
So we were alone in her bedroom, with no parent coming back for hours… I shifted slightly on her bed, trying to focus on the issue at hand. Trying not to think with my dick, which was ashamedly difficult to do.
“Ryan… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to drag you into this.” She flopped down next to me and gave me a hug. “My mother has always been a shitty mom, I shouldn’t let her get to me. I should know better.”
“No, it’s fucked up,” I assured her. “I can’t imagine my parents… anyone’s parents blowing off their kid like that. My dad threw a party when I got into State. State.”
She sighed. “I really don’t know how I can be so different from my mother. She’s such an airhead! Ugggh!”
“Forget her,” I said, trying to sound confident. “We can do this. I’ll help you.”
She looked up with the first smile I’d seen since I arrived. “Seriously? You’re ok with spending the day helping your girlfriend fill out forms? I don’t even know where half the stuff I need is…”
“It’s cool. I know someone really smart who can help,” I learned in and fake-whispered. “She got into Brown.”
Now, as happy as everyone here is with ‘Linda’ and the first round of -ahem- internal testing. I think we need to expand our closed beta to get a better idea of how True Augmented Reality will be received out in the wild.
I mean, come on Mark, Linda is American-Thai and she’s appending ’-san’ every chance she gets. And I don’t think even hentai girls say ‘arigato’ as much as that girl does after a facial.
Ok, I admit it’s been a boost to morale. We just need something more believable for the Round B investors. Something well documented, something that shows off all the hard work we’ve done.
Without further ado, I’d like to official confirm our first brand ambassador and public tester:
Ann Akira!
…
Enough with the groans, guys. She has a reach of 2 million followers across platforms and has already agreed to waive all personal rights for the time of testing. Plus, after her feud with her last big sponsor, we’re getting her for a steal.
Yes, there are some of you who aren’t a fan of her whole ‘War Against Objectification’ series. But that’s what makes her a perfect subject! Her sponsors will get to see a nice, improved revenue stream and we’ll have every marketing department in the country at our door, just in time for the wide rollout.
So, we’ll just take Ling-Ling’s profile and stretch it out a bit. See how a three month implementation takes, gather any bugs and enjoy the show.
Linda has to adjust to some unexpected changes at her new job.
Full Orientation
“I don’t get it. When you interviewed me last month, you said you needed an experienced coder ASAP. Now, right when I’m about to begin orientation, you tell me you’re at go-live! After I’ve turned down an offer from OTTII and moved halfway across the country!”
Well now, Linda. Or Lin, can I can you Lin? I know you were hoping to be part of the launch team, but we’ve had a bit of a breakthrough since last we spoke. I’m sure there’s another role for you here.
“First off, NO – you can’t call me ‘Lin’. Second, if there’s no Development Director role, this is a blatant breach of our employment contact! I’m not going to be some beta tester on your live platform. I knew I shouldn’t have joined up with a bunch of brogrammers”
Let not get ahead of ourselves Lin – I mean Linda. You should really check out -heh- Orientation before walking away from this exciting position. We’ve done some wonder work in what we’re dubbing True Augmented Reality.
FLASH!
“Huh… what just happened… Wait WHAT AM I WEARING?! ”
It’s your new Beta Testing uniform. Once you’re done with Orientation, you’ll be free to leave for the day. Let’s not forget, you’ll be the one in breach of contract for absenteeism if you walk now.
“This is bullshit. But you know what, just keep digging your grave here you sick freak.”
I promise you, this is all in your initial contract. Since the product is going to market early, I thought the boys on the team here could get some use out of their hard work.
We had a vote, and to be honest, between the impression you made when you interviewed and Mark’s ‘Orient-ation’ pun submission, this ‘Horny Asian Schoolgirl’ stereotype easily won.
Now let’s see if the personality update is working yet.
“The personality update? Huh? I’m sorry it’s so difficult to think with all these pink clouds. Were they always there? You see those too, right?”
Ha! Looks like the update is working just fine. Why don’t we introduce you to the team? Give a nice smile!
“Ughh… guess it Lin’s job right? Tehehe… Hai everyone!”
Now let’s get you properly acquainted Ling. You don’t mind if I call you Ling right?
“Mister boss-san call Ling-Ling whatever he like!” *giggle*
Oh boy, Mark really went overboard with the stereotype part. Well, that’s what beta testers are for, right Ling-Ling? Why don’t you let the boys see how happy you are to be working with them.
“Wow, so bright and gorgeous!” “What could that be?” “I can’t believe we’re actually here, honey!” were among the phrases Cindy kept repeating as her fiancé, Phil, drove them into the paradise that was Las Vegas. The couple, being in their mid-30’s, had been planning to get married in several months, but had no time for a proper honeymoon past this point in time, forcing them to take advantage of their current vacation.
weightoftheworld 