(to be objectified)

Support your fellow, female sisters!

(to accept her place as a sexualized toy for others)

Raise up other women socially and professionally!

(help her realize her value is how fuckable she is, that showing off and being eye candy is her purpose)

Don’t be a bystander! Don’t let passive micro aggressions go unchecked!

(pressure her to flirt and tease, to invite sexist and degrading behavior)

Be fierce! Be strong! Don’t passively accept the patriarchy! ✊

(rub yourself to the thought of pushing her deeper into cock, watching her become the slut she’s always been deep down)

New and Improved Traditions

“Like, trick or treat Mister!”

The world had changed so much, it was difficult to tell exactly what I was looking at.

Was this a “little girl” who had been kept in a state of perverse arrested development by her “daddy”? Maybe sent out on Halloween to show off her curves as her favorite cartoon character.

Or was this a “bimbo mommy”? One of the new wave of self stylized post feminists, the ones advocating for slut-pride teaching from childhood. They’d already successfully lobbied to reboot My Little Pony into a Rule34 inspired network hit. I’d seen a couple Disney princess out tonight already, dressed in the offical ‘new and improved’ outfits that only fit the Double-D Plus sizing that was quickly becoming the minimum standard.

I must have been staring too long.

“Het Mister? Are you going to, like, spank me or let me suck your cock?”

“Oh, uhh, yes. Treats at this house tonight.” I mumbled while unzipping my pants.

“Yay!” The cute ‘Dora’ exclaimed, bouncing up and down, then dropping to her knees.

I have to say, even in this new world, Halloween was still my favorite holiday.

The Asian Instagram Bimbo

Sometime in the past few years, a we started seeing a new kind of beauty standard. I’ll let Tina Fey explain:

“I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful.

Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyoncé and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful.

Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”

I, for one, welcome our new, impossibly hot overlords.

All hail the hourglass Asian bimbo, and the Ricebunnies they inspire.


“Haha, you’re totally a tease!”
“No way! I’m…”
“You’re totally, like, a slut!”
“OMG! What did you just call me?!”
“No! It’s, like, hot!”
“Are you serious? I look hot?”
“Totally, turn on your cam and look! See? It’s hot, come on. Isn’t it fucking awesome?”
“You really think so? Ha! It feels slutty, but…”
“Slutty and totally hot! See?”
“Fuck! What are you… Hehe… Wait! Oh, God… Mhmm.”
“Like, it’s fun to be slutty, right?”